Today begins an adventure of unknown length, of undetermined outcomes, of uncertain destinations.... This morning I load up into my van, and drive away. I have some intial stops planned, but I'm doing all that I can to let go of the need to know. And as a result, I realize that I don't know who I will be at the end of all of this... as if there is an end, and as if we ever know who we will be. But this awareness brings with it such curiosity... a willingness to seek, to listen, to experience and to practice living fully in the moment without attachment to the future.

Maz approves of the set-up. Unfortunately, she won't be joining the adventure until September.

I've got this van... It's like the tiny home of van living. Not all of my systems are set up yet, I figure that will come as I learn about my own rhythms in such a small space.

Pieces that excite me... the details. The lights, the fact that I can sit in the back and read or write if the weather is crappy, the little nooks and crannies to keep frequently used items, or the random ones.

Obviously I've thought about what to bring with me on this adventure. Most items are of necessity, specific gear for adventures or for daily living. Other items are for fun, or for meaning.

I have reminders throughout the van. Reminders of who I am, or who I see myself to be... reminders of my connections to community... reminders of what I've left behind...

It's all very exciting, but the truth is, it's also very hard. Transitions bring space for newness and opportunity to create, but they also first require a letting go... and my belief is that we need to feel the pain and unknown of letting go and let it sink into us, make friends with it, sit (or drive) with it, and not make the mistake of rushing to fill the void too quickly, lest we fill it with something that is not our soul's deep desire, but rather a sugary sweet distraction... I don't think we have to stay in the pain in a masochistic way, in fact learning to receive nourishing and unexpected healing balms has been a beautiful way to discover that I am far more connected to the people around me than I dared hope. There is an energetic difference between rushing off to a waterpark at a time like this, and driving the gravel roads to come across a mountain lake that calls with it's cooling waters.

I'll be posting occassionally about my travels, my letting go, and the healing mountain water, trail, and rock experiences. I'll also be sharing photos on my Instagram account @buoyant_life

First stop is to be with my family in Alabama for just a night or two. My mother has been recovering from a serious illness; I want to give her some of my energy and take a little of hers with me for the walkabout ahead.

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